I wanted to post an essay that I wrote a few years back while I was going through personal transformation. I was starting to realize what was holding me back from reaching my full potential. I had to undo and redo, unlearn, and relearn some things.
While I was alone, I wrote this essay,and it really empowered me. It also empowered those who read it, and those I recited it to. I hope you enjoy it and find it helpful in your life!
BREAKING THE CYCLE
As with all people, we all have experiences that have a purpose in our lives. More often than not, there is a lesson to be learned. Whether you learn that lesson is a different story. God always has his hands in our lives, showing us the past, present and future through our experiences with others. Sure, it may be hard to see the lessons in abuse, neglect, and other traumatic experiences, but sometimes you have to look deeper and find that pearl of wisdom. I have had “experiences” that changed me for better or worse, but I looked at my life and my family’s life to see a pattern of life experience. It is true when the Bible says that the iniquities of our fathers last for generations. How do we break that cycle? You look at the redundant patterns in our history and see what you can do to remove them from further generations. I chose to seek a Higher Being other than myself; secondly, I chose not to raise another generation that would carry that baggage since I was, and still am, striving to break the cycle. Last, yet most importantly, I had to observe and listen. Observe. Listen. Sounds simple enough, right? Well try it for the first time and let me know how quickly you would want to give in and continue living the way you were, living without thinking about your actions; just living it unconsciously.
Do you ever think? I don’t mean this in a negative way, of course, but seriously, do you ever think about your life and the lessons they bring? Do you think about your environment and the people you surround yourself with? If you are currently hanging around people who keep you in a cycle of complacency, have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I choose to live like this? Around these people?” Has it ever occurred to you that maybe your past conditioning encouraged that? Maybe you had a bad family situation and were deprived attention as a child so you ran to people who had a similar situation. Or maybe you were pressured to find acceptance with a “clique” in school; but since you felt inadequate to be with the overachievers, saw it easier to be with the underachievers.
With that in mind, you can see how easy it is to settle in life; settle for the minimum because your environment expects you to be nothing, expects you to not grow, expects you to fail, so to appease your environment, you become those expectations. You become a failure and you stunt your own growth in order to appease your
“friends”. Why do we choose to live down to those expectations? Why not look up? Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? What is it that you see? If you are a hurt soul, the first thing you may see is all your trouble showing up on your face. That is the energy you put out there for others to see and they respond to you by seeing you as a person who has given up on life. Now look at yourself again. This time look at your eyes. They are the windows to your soul. What do you see now? I am willing to bet that you see your potential, what you can be. I know for sure you see God’s love, don’t you? You should see your light, your confidence, your love for SELF.
When you star to see those things in yourself, others will see them as well. It really is like the law of attraction. If you see yourself as a needy, hurt person, you will attract people and situations in your life that will feed off of that energy. Likewise, if you see yourself as a victor, confident, self loving and secure in your own skin regardless of the situation, people respond to you in such a way and give you edification, encouragement, belief in you and opportunity.
It all goes back to you looking at your own life, fixing what is broken, tearing off the vines that are stunting your growth(people, habits, unhealthy environments, etc.), looking up to God and asking for clarity and guidance and finding out who you are and not letting someone label you but you making your own brand. You are not your family or your friends. You are God’s creation and he made you unique. No one else is like you. You should try finding you and fall in love. It may be a life long relationship!