I’ve up and left. I’m not coming back. I hated it there, now I want to be everywhere…in search of happiness.
Early this week, I decided to go away. I weighed all of my pros and cons, and decided that it was time for me to get back to my center.
Never have I been in a place long enough to know people. I’m usually the stranger that will be gone any day now…never to be seen again.
Since I was in a location for a prolonged period, I wanted to make friends and make them my family. Never have I had so many people come into my life, yet have no one in my life. Strange, right?
My individuality is important to me and I can only bend for others…never break.
In L.A., I found that my environment and the people I met were not making me happy. There were no friends there, but I hung out with people at times…which made it strange to feel alone. The fetish work brought weirdos and insane people who liked to dig in my dumpster, so it was best to remove myself from that place. The swing parties, which were in a BDSM dungeon made the guys want to turn me into a sub or slave, which I am far from. I was just having fun…my heart still thinks that I am Goddess…not a play thing for men…which the men wanted after seeing me play ( I’m hot. ) That took away from me being Sunni Daye, as the guys wanted me, yet I’m the one who tops guys…
In my previous post, ‘Fucking‘, I talked about trying to fill myself with orgasms, as it was impossible to find love to fill my heart. Things came to a head this month, and I couldn’t have found a better time to leave that space and place to find me again. I truly love me. It feels good to love me. It’s great to be love for someone else…
Speaking of sharing love, I went to this cool hostel in Phoenix, Camel Backpackers. It was a breath of fresh air, as everyone was there with adventure on their mind. it was just my luck to have the party people greet me my first night there. We drank, laughed and smoked many cigarettes. I hadn’t laughed so much in a long while.
The murals of owls were a good sign. I need to go within and see the bigger picture. Money means nothing. Happiness is priceless. Most things are free. How do I get the most of the next phase of my life by integrating all of what I know to be true? The owl and Pabst Blue Ribbon was a well needed departure from my old life.
I plan to help some beautiful people build an earth ship at my new dwelling space. I hope to learn more about my habits and change them. Thankfully, my hosts are vegetarians…they can rub off on me, hopefully, and I can change my life from within. Can’t wait to start!
Here are some more pics from the hostel. When I learn something new about myself, you’ll be the first to know!
This picture was hanging upside down on the wall…lol