Hi guys! If you have followed my blog from the beginning, then you would know that I am freak. A freaky, kinky freak. Well, I used to be. I am going up the coast currently for some inspiration. Los Angeles just doesn’t do it for me emotionally or spiritually anymore. I have lived on the West Coast on and off for four years as a hippy first, then a girlfriend, female dominant, and finally, as a writer/tarot reader. What a stretch in skills, eh?
Anyway, I wanted to share my thoughts on my journey thus far, and my current view of all things kinky and freaky. Enjoy!
I have been on the West Coast for four years. I started my journey to LA from Texas in May 2011. I started out as a wwoofer near Oroville, CA. The experience was great and a happy welcome to California. I then went to L.A. via Greyhound and couch surfed my way through the city for six months or so. In that time, I stayed with many people, including a writer, director, porn star, hip hop legend and many other cool types.
My intention on coming to California was to be around like minded people who were creative and also to just get into a different atmosphere, as I felt like a big fish in little old Texas…lol
Things have been great until I decided to explore my shadow, and involved other people in my life, when I am normally reserved and mindful of who is in my life.
Living in LA, I also wanted to learn of the different types of people there. My couch surfing days led me to beautiful spirits who made me feel great about living in LA…They made the sun shine brighter in my eyes.
After about six months of couch surfing, I met my ride share partner, Santa. We went up the coast, all the way up to Seattle. It was fun, and considering that it was in the dead of winter when we headed up the 5, we were safe and warm.
We went to Center of Spiritual Living churches in NoCal, Oregon and Washington. What a way to stay centered and grounded! We met nice people who were helpful and kind. I would never trade those memories of those people and places for anything…
I eventually ended up in the bay…ALL OVER THE BAY!
There I met wonderful people as well. .
When I got back to LA, in August 2012, I knew the bus routes and the city like the back of my hand. The city still seemed beautiful, filled with pretty people and spirits…to me.
I ended up dating a guy and living with him, though I only wanted to stay a few weeks so I could retrieve my ID and social security card that was lost during my travels…so that I could continue them.We ended up dating for a year.
After we broke up, which he caused by getting himself arrested and evicted…I decided to start doing webcam and opening a clips4sale store. I guess I was sexually frustrated, and wanted to vent.
I had discovered fetishes were a niche when I lived with a porn producer (who will turn on me with the drop of a hat, so I won’t call him a friend, just a guardian angel) who made videos under the femdom genre…featuring black women dominating white men. No sex. Cool!
That’s what I did…femdom work. I started in Vegas, then came back to LA to do private sessions. I was happy to be doing something fun and also able to have company most days, as I lived alone, and I am more of the communal type. I love community. Anyway, I did that for about 6 months or so, had clients and everything. Then I decided to go to munches and join fetlife…lol
On fetlife,I found a swing party, I believe. That’s not a crime, right? of course not! I wanted to have sex, since my work didn’t involve sex.
Fast forward to now, and I really have the opposite view of LA and sex. I stumbled upon people I had never met before I started doing femdom. These people were not good for me. It tainted my image of LA’s people. Sex, which was once fun to me, now disgusted me. How could I have lowered myself to such a point where low lives’ were putting my name in their mouth. Never in my life! Sex in LA just seemed bad. Men seemed unworthy of me, as I haven’t had to deal with such types of men on a regular basis…or ever. These people were into sex, so I must get out of it. These people glorifies pussy, so I must shame whores. These people would have never met me if it weren’t for sex. We weren’t ad are not of the same caliber.
In essence, I made the mistake of getting involved sexually or intimately with lower energy people. I was so mad at myself, that I decided that it would be better to be broke, so I made Backpage and CL ads calling those into fetish disgusting, sick people. I changed my number. Speaking of phone numbers…the phone calls i received as a femdom was enough to make me change service providers, as well.
I started a blog, went back to my old name of Lady Celeste (healer,reader) because I felt the BDSM world would never respect a Goddess, and created a Youtube channel.
My energy had to be channeled somehow, even if I didn’t get paid for my services. I love to be of service in the real world, but am really assertive, so writing would get my point across.
I am also not the type to be employed. i would rather work for free, so I ended up evicted from my Glendale apartment, which was what I wanted. Those crazy fet ppl knew where I lived and I had no clue how sick people could be mentally…
My experiences in BDSM and fetish life made me re-evaluate what types of people I value in life. What are my values? Sex isn’t so valuable to me, now that I see what little value people I have met in those worlds have in my life..
Being a femdom is worthless to me. I mean., it could have value to me…if there was a way to get paid without having to be around those men or touching them at all…
Swinging is dead. Swinging made me realize that those scenes are for loveless, empty people who only fuck for affection.
IRONICALLY, I LOVED ALL OF THESE THINGS I MENTIONED BEFORE I GOT INVOLVED WITH LA TYPES. They ruined the beauty of sex for me. They ruined the beauty of LA for me, as well. Thanks. and farewell.
I will look for beauty and great sex…elsewhere.